We have known forever that Donald Trump is not a serious person… but still, some of these stories from Stephanie Grisham‘s upcoming memoir are making our jaws drop! How did this man become President?!?!
Grisham, as we’ve previously reported, was a 2016 campaign aide to Trump who transitioned to become First Lady Melania Trump‘s spokeswoman and then later rose to the position of White House Press Secretary — one of many during Trump’s tenure in office.
Now, she’s ready to release a tell-all memoir — appropriately called I’ll Take Your Questions Now — that seems like it’s going to be yet another in the seemingly endless series of controversial and eye-popping tell-all books about Trump, his administration, and his family.
Related: Logan Paul Says Sure, He Might Be Bad, But He’s Not NEARLY As Bad As Donald Trump!
Ahead of her release date (the book hits shelves on Tuesday, October 5), Grisham’s publisher is floating excerpts from the memoir, and the Washington Post and New York Times have been all over ’em like catnip!
LOLz!
Seriously, though, there are some pretty wild claims made in the memoir, even beyond what we’ve previously reported. So to tide you over until Grisham’s wild work reaches the public, here are our picks for the five most surprising of the newest big reveals…
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Singin’ In The Rain!
Let’s start off with the absolute strangest revelation of all: Trump allegedly employed an aide who was specifically tasked with… playing the President’s favorite show tunes?!
According to an excerpt from Grisham’s book, her then-boyfriend, Max Miller, was the man with that job — earning him the nickname the “Music Man.” Apparently, whenever Trump “was angry or upset,” Miller popped in some show tunes, including The Donald’s favorite: the ballad Memory from Cats.
WAIT, WHAT?!
His temper was so out of control, they had a designated person with a trick to calm him down? Does this mean we were potentially one Broadway ballad away from nuclear war at some point or something??
To be fair to Trump on this one, the song is an all-time banger. Even in the absurd CGI cat-butthole-filled nightmare of a big screen adaptation, Jennifer Hudson totally nailed it (below):
So, like, we never thought we’d say this about Trump but at least he’s got good taste? (In this one and only situation!)
BTW, Miller is now running for Congress as a Republican in Ohio, and has already locked up Trump’s endorsement. We wouldn’t trust this Music Man any more than we’d trust Harold Hill.
Trump Was Sensitive About The Tiny Toadstool D**k Claims
Remember how adult film star Stormy Daniels revealed more than we all collectively ever cared to know back in 2018 when she described Trump’s penis as being “like a toadstool”? Or more accurately like Toad, the mushroom character from Mario?
You couldn’t possibly forget how, in her own book about Trump, Daniels wrote about her one night stand with the reality show host — who would go on to become the president:
“I lay there, annoyed that I was getting f**ked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a d**k like the mushroom character in Mario Kart.”
*shudder*
Every time, it still grosses us out.
Well Grisham has the follow-up to all that… In her memoir, the Post reports that the former press secretary received a phone call from Trump at one point late in his presidency — while he was flying on Air Force One, no less — when he decided to inform her “that his penis was neither small nor shaped like a toadstool.”
We aren’t surprised he was angry about the comparison behind the scenes, but why did he call her? Well, supposedly he also asked her boyfriend at one point how she was in bed. So maybe he had designs on her? And didn’t want his reputation to preclude him??
In any case, he called ranting and raving about his penis size to an employee, which… oof. Sounds like a fun guy, right?
Pushed Around By Putin
Grisham further claims that during a 2019 summit, Trump only pretended to play tough with Russian President Vladimir Putin while the cameras were rolling, only to roll over like a dog when the lights went off.
(We mean, we guess this one isn’t that surprising…)
The former press secretary recounted that when the two world leaders meat the G20 Summit in Japan in June 2019, immediately before the media came in to film the greeting, Trump allegedly turned to Putin and said:
“OK, I’m going to act a little tougher with you for a few minutes. But it’s for the cameras, and after they leave, we’ll talk. You understand.”
Wait, he actually TOLD him? Like, to get his permission?? UGH!!!
Oh, and the Russia stuff gets worse: Grisham also claims that during that same meeting, Putin brought in an attractive, young, female translator to help with communication. She believes he knew full well that Trump would be hopelessly distracted by the woman’s presence, allowing Putin to further dominate the convo. And she says it worked!
How… was… this… man… president…?
Colon Controversy!
Here’s another s**tty moment in Trump administration history: remember that time in 2019 when he abruptly went to Walter Reed Medical Center for an unannounced, unexplained medical visit?
And no one was ever told what really happened??
Well now, as it turns out, that little trip was for a colonoscopy! Which, like, hey, OK! Trump was 73 years old at the time! And colonoscopies are completely normal, sound, prudent medical procedures, especially at that age!
…But apparently not if you’re Donald Trump.
In her book, Grisham doesn’t specifically say the word “colonoscopy” — perhaps out of caution about revealing the former POTUS’ private medical record. Instead the book hints at it very heavily that while it was a perfectly normal procedure in which the “patient is sometimes put under.” It’s the New York Times that clarifies it was a colonoscopy. Not sure if they were just reading into it or if they, too, have some inside info.
So hold up. If it was really just a colonoscopy, why not just reveal that? Well, as usual with this guy, it’s all about vanity. See, she says Trump was horrified to reveal what the procedure was because he didn’t want to be “the butt of a joke” on late night TV. We see what you did there, Steph.
It pointed to Trump’s larger insecurity around the possibility that he might ever look as though he was weak, as Grisham writes:
“As with COVID, he was too wrapped up in his own ego and his own delusions about his invincibility.”
Such a sad, insecure little man…
Speaking of insecure, she does say Trump chose NOT to undergo anesthesia because he couldn’t bear the thought of handing the presidential power over to Mike Pence, even for an hour. Geez.
We’d say this seems like a stretch, but only if it was someone else. For Trump? The guy who raged on Twitter every Sunday over Saturday Night Live poking fun at him, like they have with every president since they’ve been on the air? This sadly rings too true…
Eyes For The Intern
OK, so, as funny and weird as some of those have been, this one is just creepy.
Grisham claims Trump became obsessed at one point with one young female press aide. Apparently, he was so into the woman — who Grisham never names — that he allegedly once demanded that she be brought to his office on Air Force One so he could “look at her [behind].”
Ugh…
This on top of Trump at one point allegedly asking Miller — who, like we mentioned (above) also worked for the President, at the time — to “rate [Grisham’s] sexual performance” for him.
That’s gross! And also completely unethical! And illegal, since that’s the textbook definition of sexual harassment!
Again, this would be more of a bombshell if Trump didn’t have numerous sexual assault and harassment claims hanging over his entire presidency, as well as his own hot mic admission that he grabs women “by the p***y” — not to mention a brutal rape accusation that’s working its way through the courts even now.
No, for this guy it’s just par for the course…
Heck, it isn’t even the only time he was sexually inappropriate in front of Grisham, according to her book.
BTW, Trump predictably trashed all of Grisham’s claims in this new memoir, with his current spokesperson Liz Harrington sending this message to the Washington Post:
“[This book] is another pitiful attempt to cash in on the President’s strength and sell lies about the Trump family. … [Grisham] is a disgruntled former employee … [publishers] should be ashamed of themselves for preying on desperate people who see the short-term gain in writing a book full of falsehoods.”
Yeah, whatever, sure. Now we’re wondering how long it is until Liz Harrington writes her own Trump tell-all! Ha!
Funny how they’re all liars and degenerates once they leave Trump’s employ, but they’re the “best people” when working for him.
[Image via WENN/Universal Pictures/YouTube]
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