Sport

I probably owe Gregg Berhalter an apology

You’ll have to excuse me, as I’m writing this Mourning After while giggling incessantly. The U. S. Men’s National C team, B- at best, beat a close to full-strength Mexico squad in the Gold Cup Final, 1-0. It was a tournament that manager Gregg Berhalter was using as a laboratory to find out who could […]

Sport

Phew! USWNT scores shootout win over Netherlands

With the United States tied with the Netherlands, deep into extra time in the Olympic quarterfinal — a rematch of the 2019 World Cup final — Christen Press took a beautiful pass from Megan Rapinoe, shot, scored… and then saw the offside flag go up. Read more…

Sport

Gabriel Heinze is just as big of a penis as you remember

The lesson for MLS coaches the past couple of weeks is that trying to show your authority by freezing out a star player only ends with your head in the guillotine’s receptacle. Gabriel Heinze was the latest to learn that yesterday. Read more…

Sport

‘It’s Coming Home’… to Rome

With an English twit flying into space this weekend, there was a fleeting memory of a long-ago commercial for British Airways in which Britain had luxury accommodations even on a space station, while a good American and a Russian endured cramped quarters and terrible astronaut food in the main cabin of the station. Read more…

Sport

A hearty ‘welcome back’ to terrible sports fans worldwide

The Three Lions are on to a major tournament championship game for the first time since 1966 after advancing past Denmark in the semifinals of Euro 2020 (2021? Whatever) — but it isn’t without controversy. As team captain Harry Kane stepped up for a penalty kick in extra time, a green laser pointer was pointed […]

Sport

Messi survives despite it all at the Copa

It’s been weird whenever I check in on Copa America. With the Euros taking place in front of fans and the mess that the Copa was before it even kicked off, it kind of feels like it’s taking place in some sort of dungeon club that you need a password to get into and you […]

Sport

Spain rules the day, but not final result

Spain did just about everything they wanted against Italy. They suffocated Jorginho out of the game, denying all routes to him from the defense and keeping Italy’s attack at bay through a pretty aggressive high press. They kept the ball for most of the game, and didn’t do that usual Spanish thing of just keeping […]