Sport

Gabriel Heinze is just as big of a penis as you remember

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The lesson for MLS coaches the past couple of weeks is that trying to show your authority by freezing out a star player only ends with your head in the guillotine’s receptacle. Gabriel Heinze was the latest to learn that yesterday.

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When I’d rather watch ‘Schitt’s Creek’ than ANOTHER no-hitter, you know baseball has a problem

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Last night, I was scrolling Twitter as the dulcet tones of Schitt’s Creek provided a backdrop to my evening. In short, I was doing nothing. As the late night baseball game out west between the Seattle Mariners and and the Detroit Tigers wore on, I started seeing familiar tweets in my timeline — we were […]
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Under-the-radar sports you should check out during the Tokyo Games

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There are certain sports that are staples of the Olympics, the ones that get on in prime time and take hold of the sports world when they’re going for the gold. It used to be that those sports, like gymnastics, swimming, and track, would only really show up on your TV every so often. Maybe […]
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Centers aren’t extinct, they’ve just evolved

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As humans, we tend to eulogize the extinct with reverence. The Dodo Bird. The Rocky Mountain Locust. The Golden Toad. And why wouldn’t we? It was us who eradicated these precious, sentient creatures. Some theorists would argue it had to do with their inability to adapt. But what if things are adapting at a dangerous,… […]