Sport

You’ll never believe this, but everyone’s losing their mud about the Maple Leafs

If you looked up and to the north this morning and thought you could make out a noxious cloud in the distance, don’t worry, it’s just the usual October phenomenon. The NHL season is two weeks old and the Toronto Maple Leafs have not awarded the Stanley Cup due to the majesty of their excellence […]

Sport

Now the Leafs have the calamity they’ve always wanted

Because everything is outsized with the Leafs, the idea that they’ve been coughing up genuine chances at the Stanley Cup year-after-year has grown at the rate and scale of The Blob. Being the Leafs, everything around them is audibly multiplied by at least 12, so the sheer volume that is emitted from the Greater… Read […]

Sport

Seems like old times, eh Leafs?

By now you know the key points. The Toronto Maple Leafs haven’t won the Stanley Cup since 1967, haven’t been to the Final since then either, haven’t beaten the Canadiens in a series since their ’67 title clash, won their first division title since 2000 this season (thanks to being in the all-Canadian… Read more…

Sport

Hockey is the dumbest sport

It’s funny (but not), and fitting, that in a week where we’ve spent a great deal of time talking about baseball’s old, drunk, incontinent demons still plaguing the youthful and logical, hockey strolls into the saloon, hitches up its belt, and says, “Oh, you think you’re stupid? I’ll show you stupid.” Read more…