If you think your job is bad, just imagine actually having to do this for $13 an hour!
An actress named Hollis Jane Andrews shared the most absurd job description for a “Magical Nanny/Housekeeper” role she applied to back in 2013 — and OMG does it sound so awful and almost too ridiculous to be real! But it is!
Uploading two documents to Twitter on Thursday, the K.C. Undercover alum explained that she interviewed for a nanny position which “unbeknownst” to her at the time was for a “Scientologist family.” During that process, she was given an extensive breakdown of responsibilities which she described as:
“They gave this absolutely BONKERS list of responsibilities and now I give it to all of you.”
To start, the employer shared “the main focus” of the job “is to ensure [the boys] basic rudiments* are kept in, so that they are not crying/upsetting the rest of the house.” These rudiments were “sleep, food, and watered.”
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But it gets a lot crazier. Not only is there a minute-by-minute schedule mapped up, but there are strict guidelines for how the nanny should act, including instructions like:
“Get them to run, throw rocks and RUN with them, don’t stop them running ever.”
Oh, and the kids can NEVER be unhappy, as the employer insisted multiple times:
“If they are crying and yelling, they are not happy and as a nanny you need to get them back happy again.”
NOT EVEN MARY F**KIN’ POPPINS KEPT THE KIDS HAPPY 100% OF THE TIME! COME ON!
After the kids eat a controversial lunch of “steak and ketchup,” the nanny must “magically transform into a cleaning nazi.” And yes, there’s a massive list of instructions that would be done daily, including “empty out the stinking poo poo bin.” Read the entire note for yourself (below), it’ll blow your mind!!
And that’s all done for just $13 an hour!! Are you freaking kidding us?? Hollis chimed in about the low pay, saying:
“Granted that was 8 years ago BUT STILL”
It’s an astronomical amount of work for that little pay! And just “the word ‘dianetics’” was enough to scare the actress away from the gig… Though we wonder what poor soul ended up with this unfortunate job.
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As you can imagine, Twitter had a lot to say on this insane job description! Here are some of the responses:
“I’m only one paragraph in. Very offended by use of whilst.”
“Ketchup on steak??”
“I cannot work out how old these children are. Are they toddlers being fed protein drinks and steaks? Why if they are older are they not at school and able to do their own teeth? IDK. Maybe they are just lazy teenagers.”
“I trying to comprehend how bath time is 15 minutes shorter than get dressed time.”
“Are we throwing the rocks AT the children to keep them running ?”
“Are they making these kids (and their caretaker) run with horses, play at the park, and swim before noon on a carb free diet???”
“WHEN DOES SHE DO THE COOKING????? This schedule is giving me a panic attack.”
Some people even question whether or not this job was to take care of children at all!!
“I wasn’t sure they weren’t talking about a pair of Border Collies, expect for the protein bottle thing.”
“Are these dogs or children?”
Truly one of the craziest job descriptions we’ve ever seen — and we hope it stays that way! Reactions, Perezcious readers? What’s the craziest part of that list to you? Sound OFF in the comments (below)!
[Image via IPA/WENN & Hollis Jane Andrews/Twitter]
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