Demi Lovato has a new lease on life.
We’ve seen the singer undergo a number of evolutions — and witnessed her at low points. Throughout it all, the Disney alum has been remarkably honest about her struggles and open about growing and understanding herself and her sexuality. The upcoming YouTube docuseries Demi Lovato: Dancing with the Devil marks a new chapter for the artist, as she continues to be vulnerable with fans about her journey.
Related: Demi Says Substance Abuse Was Coping Mechanism For ‘Suicidal Ideations’
In a new Glamour profile, the actress let us in on the latest evolution of Demi: one that is, in her own words, “really queer” coming off of her failed engagement to Max Ehrich. Speaking from her new Los Angeles home, she joked with the interviewer:
“I almost designed this house for a straight couple. I’m not straight, but it was a hetero situation. This could have been a very normal-looking house.”
She admitted she had “denied [her] intuition of all the red flags that had popped up” in her relationship with Max. But even more than that, she revealed:
“When I started getting older, I started realizing how queer I really am. This past year I was engaged to a man, and when it didn’t work, I was like, This is a huge sign. I thought I was going to spend my life with someone. Now that I wasn’t going to, I felt this sense of relief that I could live my truth.”
Lovato went on:
“I hooked up with a girl and was like, ‘I like this a lot more.’ It felt better. It felt right. Some of the guys I was hanging out with — when it would come time to be sexual or intimate, I would have this kind of visceral reaction. Like, ‘I just don’t want to put my mouth there.’ It wasn’t even based on the person it was with. I just found myself really appreciating the friendships of those people more than the romance, and I didn’t want the romance from anybody of the opposite s*x.”
Don’t consider this an official (updated) “coming out” for her, though — she’s going to do that at a later date. She explained:
“I know who I am and what I am, but I’m just waiting until a specific timeline to come out to the world as what I am. I’m following my healers’ timeline, and I’m using this time to really study and educate myself on my journey and what I’m preparing to do.”
Trusting her intuition has brought the singer to surprising new places in her journey with addiction, too. While her relationship to food began healing as she finally let herself eat however she wanted, she felt a lack of balance with things like alcohol and marijuana. She remembered speaking with her recovery case manager Charles Cook about it:
“I called him and was like, ‘Something’s not right. I’m living one side of my life completely legalizing and this other side following a program that’s telling me if I slip up, I’m going to die.’”
Her team was concerned when she announced her intention to “try this balance thing in the substance side of my life too,” she recalled:
“But they were like, ‘She deserves this opportunity to make that choice for herself.’ So I did.”
For the record, the I Love Me songstress is “done with the stuff that caused her overdose,” and was very clear her new approach is something she’s trying for herself, not a recommendation for anyone else. She said:
“What I’m encouraging people to do is just make choices for themselves. Autonomy, for me, is what changed my life.”
Related: Demi Reveals The Real Reason She Shaved Her Head: ‘I Feel So Free’
Elsewhere, Demi reflected on navigating the pop world while discovering her truth. She’s previously spoken about feeling controlled by her team, but negative reactions from fans (such as the backlash to her pink, shaved hairstyle back in 2014) also “reignited that fear inside of me of being who I really am.” She shared:
“I was trying on different identities that felt authentic to me but weren’t me. The super-feminine pop star was an identity that sounded like it fit and looked like it fit, so I put it on like it fit. … I was excited that I was in a comfortable place in my body to show more skin, but what I was doing to myself was so unhealthy. It was from a place of, ‘I’ve worked really f**king hard on starving and following this diet, and I’m going to show off my body in this photo shoot because I deserve it.’ … I wasn’t confident at all. I had a false confidence because I was conforming to everybody else’s ideals.”
Now, she concluded:
“My heart is pretty open. I’m very much listening to my intuition, and that’s not to say my boundaries or my guard is up. It’s just saying my ears are perked a little higher and my eyes are open a little wider.”
We’re just so proud of her for how far she’s come and so excited to see what her future holds. Thank you for sharing your journey with us Demi! Click HERE for her full chat with the glossy, and take a look at her gorgeous cover and spread for Glamour (below):
[Image via Demi Lovato/Instagram]
The post Demi Lovato Says Broken Engagement Helped Her Embrace The Exploration Of Her Sexuality & Queerness! appeared first on Perez Hilton.
