Being a bridesmaid comes with costs and expectations — so shouldn’t knowing about them upfront be a good thing?
TikTok can’t seem to agree on that after a bride-to-be went viral for sharing her very detailed list of requirements for her bridesmaids.
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Lisa Torres, an auditor from Texas who recently got engaged, said she made the two-page list after reflecting on being a bridesmaid herself, and realizing that it came with a lot of unexpected demands. She told her followers:
“I have been a bridesmaid before and there were some unexpected costs and expectations on my end. Hearing my friends complain about their experiences in wedding parties and learning about how much the expectations vary made me want to make sure that I didn’t create any conflicts. I was very intent on avoiding conflict and being transparent and upfront with the costs.”
Ironically, the bride-to-be was faced with nothing but conflict when her list went viral, with some feeling it was simply asking too much of her friends.
The letter detailed what costs Torres would cover and which her bridesmaids were expected to pay, noting that the bride would foot the bill for the cost of hair and makeup for the wedding party as well as accommodations the night before the ceremony, while the bridesmaids would be responsible for their own dress, shoes, and other expenses. She also outlined attendance expectations for wedding festivities, like dress shopping and a possible bridal shower.
Torres said her motivation for writing the letter was simply to let her friends know what they would be getting into by agreeing to be bridesmaids — but also to make it clear that she had no issues if they said no. She did note that one prospective bridesmaid turned down the role, sharing:
“She was going to get into telling me (why), but I respectfully cut her off. I was like, ‘You don’t have to explain … Whatever reason you have is valid.’”
The bride-to-be did feel “insecure” about giving her friends the letter, because she feared it would be seen as rude, but said the majority of them were actually relieved to have a list of expectations. She explained:
“There’s just some things that can have a bad connotation … Just the concept of having a letter that has rules just sounds bad even if the content of it isn’t bad or even if it’s not unreasonable. The formality of it makes it seem more intimidating, but thankfully, all of them were just, like, ‘Oh, I’m so glad.’ They were really grateful I did it.”
TikTok users were a different story, however, as plenty of users thought the list was too much. On the other hand, though, other users praised Torres for the letter, saying it would have improved their own experiences as bridesmaids.
Torres said she didn’t at all expect the post to be viewed over 6 million times on the platform, and noted that the reaction has been a “learning experience” because she’s learned so much about different wedding cultures and expectations around the world.
At the end of the day, she said she hopes the letter will lead to more people being upfront about bridal party expectations, sharing:
“I thought it would impact a couple people, but I think it might have a larger impact than that, and that’s great. I think in general, communication is good. Relationships end because of bad communication. If (the letter) could help people, then I’m really happy about that.”
And a happy bride-to-be is a good thing!
What do U think about this, Perezcious readers? Is this letter too demanding or a genius idea? Watch Lisa’s original TikTok (below) and sound off in the comments.
@lisalovesrandom##stitch with @stephanieberman7 I was scared to have a ##transparency letter in the ##bridesmaidproposalbox but it WORKED OUT. ##wedding ##weddingtiktok♬ original sound – Lisa ????
[Image via WENN]
The post Bride Shares 2-Page List Of Expectations For Bridesmaids On TikTok — And Folks Are SPLIT! appeared first on Perez Hilton.
